It’s All Good…. Is it Really?
By Rabbi Stephanie Shore
5.13.21
It’s all good… This saying has always rubbed me the wrong way. I have not bee one to use it even though it has become a colloquialism common in our culture today.
This year the saying celebrates it’s 20-year anniversary having been made very popular back in 2001. According to New Yorker Magazine the phrase got a ‘big push’ into the mainstream when Alicia Calaway used it on “Survivor: The Australian Outback”. She reported to millions of American views that although she had not won the 1-million-dollar prize the experience was, “All good”. Or when rapper Puffy Combs responded to Entertainment tonight’s inquiry, about his break-up with Jennifer Lopez, “It’s all good”, he expressed, to denote the love he would always have in his heart for J. Lo.
I don’t want to sound cynical or sound, “All bad” however this saying is just not accurate. As the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English says, the remark is used to say that a situation is good or acceptable, or that there is not a problem. We use the saying when we want to assure ourselves or someone else that despite a current challenge or difficult circumstance everything is satisfactory. But is it?
When we are faced with the curve balls of life it’s not all good. Some of it is good. Perhaps 90% of it is good however there is a part of the pie that isn’t good and we shouldn’t be afraid to admit it.
When did we begin to think that we had to show the “All Good” face to the world? Did it begin with the snapshot moments we see of people’s lives on social media?
Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D. writes, in her Psychology Today article, The Problem with Assuming Others Are Perfect – “Individuals from every walk of life and particularly women want to know why everyone around them seems to be living a perfect life free of stress and unsettling life difficulties”. She continues, “Keep in mind that it is very unlikely that anyone in any of your circles is living a blissful life devoid of stressors and hardships. In life, we all have struggles… Most of us are trying our best to feel good about ourselves. Perhaps, we are attempting to feel better about ourselves by posting items that will get approval and/or interest. Most of us want to connect and engage and we do that on social media by mostly presenting the sunnier sides of our lives”.
It’s important for us to understand that we don’t need to deny the part of our lives that is less than perfect. Matter of fact accepting the good and the bad in proper perspective is quite healthy. It enables us to take an honest inventory or our current situation and make adjustments as needed.
Perhaps a better saying is, “It’s all the way it is”. Life is and we are living it. Like a rollercoaster we experience the highs and the lows. We wouldn’t say coaster operator I only want to experience the exciting part of this ride. Or we couldn’t as Mother Nature to skip Winter and go right to Spring. During Winter, however desolate, allows for Spring.
The sweetness of life is precious, and the blossoms often come after times of grave emptiness. So, I would like to suggest it’s not all good all the time. It is the way it is. We don’t live in snapshots and neither do we need to believe others do.
